My year 'vacation'

You know how getting a vacation goes right? You get excited about it. You sort things out with work and family. You have money to spend. The beginning of the vacation is awesome. You are doing what you want...although there may be a few things you didn't *really* want to do, but it had to be done. You start running low on cash, so you start taking things easy. Spend time with friends & family at home. You still have time off, but funds are low. You start thinking about work again. You start at work again and everything feels weird and you are now working to pay for the vacation you thought was covered.

That, my friends, was my year. This, is also, my year end blog post wrap up. JOY!

This year started with a new job part time. I loved it. I was getting paid more than at my other job and working with people I liked. I, for the first time in years, had money to pay all my bills without worrying and some left over. My stress from my other job was cut in half. I was in a bubble of happiness.

The bubble had to pop though, as often things like that do. But I started a side business and only stayed at the 'bad place' half time. I was, I suppose in a state of denial of having to do more, because I didn't. I let the current of the world pull me along. I figured, I had been working since I was a Sophomore in high school, I deserved some down time.

Then, unexpectedly (and thankfully??), the job I had been at for 8 years, the job that all my friends told me I should quit, started going through financial problems and let me go.

So I went this from working two part time jobs everyday, to one part time job, to no job. It was a slow taper...but it still was a shock. Again, I have been working for businesses forever, this whole "don't have someplace to be everyday" threw me off...badly. More then I let on to friends. (I don't care what the economy is like, not having a job is still embarrassing.)

Thankfully, my time at my other job helped out when I applied for unemployment, so I was able to...coast?...for a month or so while I was uber picky about looking for a job.

I now have a job...and I took a big pay cut...and I am back to wondering how the heck to pay for things. Back and forth on the fact that I am over qualified for this job (mainly) that I am 'too old' to be starting at the bottom and the fact that I have a job at all and this job is in/related to a field that I love and have wanted to work in since I was 15. The 'vacation' is over. Hard reality gets to have it's place back in my life. woo hoo

I'm not saying this was a horrible year. I'm not saying that it was a great year. It was definably an odd year. One I made it through (few days shy, I know). I'd like to say I learned a lot...but nope. Well, I learned that my other job really did do more to me psychologically then I would like to admit and I really should have left it years ago, if only for some other crap job for a while. I hope next year, a bit more of my old self will come out.

That is my year 'vacation'. I am getting back into the habit of a job. Of all that it entails. woot!

You're so nice not to say so.

So I suppose I should say thank you to all my friends around me who haven't commented on what I am going to deem 'massive amounts of weight' the past 2-3 months. Granted I haven't stepped on the scale (haven't since August actually...), but I know. It kind of sneaked up on me actually. The past two weeks or so I've felt like the proverbial butterball turkey. Not a good feeling. Its funny too, because it's not as if I've stopped working out. I still do my yoga (although I haven't this week) and I still run and I still go to the gym. So...I don't get it. Well, I guess I do. Sitting at home all day for months in a row are bound to effect you right? Stupid snacks.

It's just not a place I want to be at. I miss where I was a few years ago (hell, a few months ago was better), I've made strides, but my damn emotional eating screws it up each time. So, it's time for a jump start. I know what is good for me and what is not. What my body will let me not have, and what it demands no MATTER WHAT (Coca-Cola! woot!). I'm hoping that now that this week is over, I can get on it for at least a week or so. Get me back to eating right....

Cleansing diets are harder then Hell, but they are so good for you...well me anyway. So, next week I begin. ~I'm not going to be strict about it this weekend because I have two luncheon parties to go to (one on Saturday and one on Sunday). There is always a reason to not start up, but they are short periods. (rationalizing)

So Monday no: meat (some chicken is ok), seafood, wheat, flour, corn, carrots, potatoes, vinegar, sugar, fruits, dairy, extra caffeine beyond one Coke, no alcohol. Yes to: tuna, nuts, veggies, fish (not going to happen), eggs, water....some more water....and water. lol

There's more to it, but that is it. I am sure, due to $ there are some areas in which I will have to fail at for a bit...or just starve myself? lol but I am guessing that is a bad idea so.....

I generally don't talk about this with people in general. I might tell everyone I am working out or I am going to lose weight or something, but I don't say 'because I feel like size of 3 people,' which I currently do. Not sure how much more running I can add either. Or gym time. But its going to have to find a way for a while. Along with pilates, because I haven't done that in a long time...which may be why I think my body is much in the middle at the moment.

As always, I don't mind company sometimes when I work out. Sometimes I do, but having someone to check in with or be accountable to....it can be a good thing.

So, anyway....that is that. Not much I can do as I sit here at my desk, but get it out there. So be nice, I will be low on sugar. :p