Let it all out, or keep it in

As with so many things, I think there is a fine line or balance to talking things out. There are some things, that if I don't talk about it, if I don't get it out there, it slowly eats at me and makes me miserable. On the other hand, I know there are some things I don't want to talk about with anyone, or you have to drag it out of me, and even then I don't want to talk about it. I don't need to because talking about it makes it worse then talking about it could.

The "little" day to day things are what I need to get out. The little annoyance here and there. The stupid things someone said or did. Its magical really, once I get it out (maybe two/three times) I no longer care. It becomes more annoying to think about it after I talk about it. Its free of me. If I don't share though, if I keep those in, it just sort of festers, and I start some running internal tally of all the 'wrongs done to me' and this builds until its a weird, unnecessary problem. Granted, sharing most of those little annoyances can sometimes make me sound....bitchy? No one wants to sound like that. So I either try and spread it around, or share with just one or two people consistently. (Sorry if you are one of them, just means I trust you a LOT. lol)

I was eating with a friend the other day and I had asked them about their day. They started telling me about some little annoyances someone was causing. I was understanding of their position and mentioned it must be kind of annoying. They said only when they talk about it. I changed the subject, but...I have to wonder is that how it works for some people? They wouldn't be annoyed by things unless they have to talk about it and then they realize how its annoying? Or they can let it go unless they have to talk about it and then they are reminded how it annoys them? Is it easier for some people to just not share things that bother them?

There are some personal feelings and thoughts I don't like to share. I may elude to them at times, but overall, I don't want to talk to anyone. Part is I can't vocalize it properly and I know it won't help, because I can't see how talking it out will help. lol Who knows if it it really would, but I know the thought of talking about certain things makes me sick to my stomach and antsy or upset. It puts me in a mood I guess. ....But logically, I know its still just sitting there waiting to be let out. That if I opened up and shared, who knows, it might be easier to deal with, but some of the big things aren't ready for me to let out yet.

There are some people who never share anything personal if they can help it. Its like pulling teeth or when they do, you have to wonder if you tricked them. Its interesting how we, as people, can vary so much on this. The push pull of needing to share or not share at all. The break between it helping or hindering our growth as a person. The realizing when it will help and letting it be out there.

People are such interesting things.

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.....hmmm, I may have to come back with a poem. I've been sitting on this all day and nothing has come to me yet. It will after I publish this. :)