So.....anyone still out there?

My one month off turned into a bit longer. Each day of this month has begun with the intention that I will get back at it. I will compose something. I will create. I will release feelings and frustrations and hopes onto a piece of paper (or web page as you can see). Each day I found an excuse. I'm tired, I have things to do, I have a 'plan'. Each of them are bull shit reasons. I know it. I am just being lazy and I am just avoiding. I know that when I get down to it, I will write what I am thinking. I will write how I feel. And whether I want others to actually know what I am thinking, there are one or two out there that will ask that probing question that will just knock me on my ass or make me face things I don't want to. And that is not a good reason to avoid writing. It always gets out in the end anyway. Even when I see that I have written from not a good place, but from that 'raw, exposed emotions and need to just get it out' place that can be taken the wrong way by others and I get that nervous feeling after and the fear of the repercussions....I am still ok. I survive. Because those that need to understand do. Those that don't actually know me, maybe find they can relate...or at least think 'thank God its not me'. I miss my daily groove. I miss this. How on earth did I lose time to do it?