That its time to regroup

My online 'schedule' or check list seems to work for me, but everything still seems to be getting away from me. I'm piddling with all this little stuff, and getting nothing important done. I have blog topics sitting in my inbox, but do nothing with them. I have the test dates for the ABO & GRE. I have the grant work ready to be filled out for both school and business. I know the books I need to get to start a new path. BUT.... I am avoiding. Ugh, sometimes I wish I wasn't so good at that. I make it an art form.

SO, my internalized plan for this week was to focus and regroup. I think too much has been weighing on my mind and I need to shave some of it off. Take a step back and just look at everything. Because as of right now...I've got nothing.

I'm purposely sabotaging something that could be good for me. (I say purposely only because in looking back I can see it, but that's about it.)

I'm tired of the same old story running though my head and getting no where with it. Dead ends are sometimes just that, dead ends. Accept and walk away, not avoid and deny. lol

Yesterday was going to be the first day of this. It sort of was since I didn't really talk to anyone after work. I had a migraine hit me and just lay me out. I couldn't even drive home, had to have someone come get me and my car. First time for that happening. Not cool.
But other than laying in bed for half the evening and than sitting feeling the breeze and having imaginary conversations for the other half (I talked some stuff out, very cathartic), I did nothing.

All I know is I need to get a handle on the things that are really bugging me, because they are really effecting me. The migraines are one sign, the...cruel way I internally have been talking to myself is another (seriously, this is why I don't make enemies, I am just flippin' mean), and the wanting to avoid people/places.

I just want to figure this out right. I don't want to keep taking the same left turn (even if I don't know its the same one). I've got so much ready, it just needs that last added push.

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They say that anything worth having
Is worth fighting for
Yet she only sits and watches
As you continually walk out the door
She's fully aware of what she's missing
A fact that is there every day
Yet she's not the kind to keep wishing
And she'll keep letting you walk away