Is that people come into our lives for a reason...and usually not the one we think

I won't lie, I have always hated the saying that people come in and out of our lives for a reason. Think it is mainly because if I allowed you into my life, it means I wanted you there, why on Earth would I want you to leave? Sounds like something someone made up to make someone else feel better when someone left.

But its true.

Let me give you a weird dynamic that shows this.

Years ago, I thought I had fallen in love with a guy. It was one of those guys who had major flaws, I saw those major flaws, but I thought (kept thinking/lying to myself...) there was more too him. (Yes, I was wrong.) Anyway, as a result of one of the most bizarre relationships ever, I had a son. As a result of having said child, I stopped talking to virtually all of our mutual friends. I cut myself off. People I had talked to everyday and/or hung out with on the weekends, I retreated from. I lost touch with some really great people.

Jump forward a few years. Obviously I had some contact with the guy. Intermittent as it was. Then, as was his nature, he started getting weird/selfish again. I had gotten a glimpse into what he had been doing for those few years apart though. So I was privy to the situation in which one of his acts of selfishness caused another one of his exes to write a...well, very blunt blog telling him off. This blog was too..something..to ignore. So I contacted her. Crazy, I know. Yet from that, I formed a great friendship with an awesome girl who I am still friends with today. Because of her involvement with my ex, she knew quite a few of my old friends and by twist of fate, I was 'reunited' with one of them. I have now regained that friendship and his wife's friendship as well.

Call it evil...or slightly tipsy 'lets see what the hell kind of havoc we can play on him since he did so much with ours'...one night while me and my new friend were hanging out, we called him...sneakily...and we sort of...sprang our friendship on him. Imagine, two of your exes, one the mother of your child, the other an ex-fiance, hanging out....talking. (evil giggle here now. sorry. lol moving on...) Later that week he called me up to talk. It was strange because, at the time, it sounded like one of his cop outs; however, now, whether it was or not, I have to tag truth to it. He said that for everything we'd gone through, perhaps this was where it was supposed to lead. We were too different to ever make it work, but maybe he was in my life to bring me A, and then for A to bring me S & R. That was his role to play. (Yeah, he never mentioned P, but we aren't going there.) That for this whole crazy road we had been on, his actual role was to bring me these awesome people.

I don't know, but sometimes, I feel myself agreeing.

There are people who I have met, who at the time I thought things would go one way, yet they always end up as just friends. Yes, yes, this completely vexes and pisses me off sometimes, but...perhaps its all for a reason, ya know?

There are people we meet who we think we will be friends with forever. Yet, we see years down the road, they were there to introduce us to one of their friends, or them to one of ours.

One of my best friends, after a weird beginning, met her husband through me. I am both humbled and amazed by that. Had we not been friends....wow. She is, however, still friends with me...so far. lol

This makes me wonder then (and it makes me a little afraid too) if all those in my life right now are supposed to be there for the long haul, or if they are just here now to play a role. To teach me something. To introduce me to someone. For me to introduce them to someone. I know a few of my current friends are not where I thought they would be in my life right now, so how can we possibly know.

Caroline is thinking that, she's grateful for all the people she's met in her life, and all the little (or big) reasons that came along with them. She looks forward to seeing what the current ones have in store for her.

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The sound surrounds
Seemingly so loud
Cutting off all distraction
Beyond that of
The falling water
Thoughts are left
To play center stage
So clear in the
Deafening noise
The cool of the metal
on the skin
Clashes with the
Heat of the water
It streams down
Creating a barrier
Between the head
And the world
A gentle massage
Telling you to think
To let it out
To relax