Today has me exhausted

Everything. Physically, mentally, spirtiually. All tired.

Had a disagreement with the boy last night, and I don't like arguing. I don't like having to prove a point to a child. I don't want to be the mean mom. Even if I have to sometimes. Last night was one of them. Think it tapered off into the morning. Just a feeling of 'blah'.

Too many things personally floating in around in my mind. I want the mind to just stop thinking for a while and leave my heart alone.

Work. Work is killing me from the inside out. I know my migraines are stronger when work stupidity plays a stronger role. I know my stomach ties in knots. I know I lose the will to want to do anything or talk to anyone. But what am I supposed to do? I can't just quit. I NEED to have a job. The child can't catch rabbits out back for dinner and the landlord doesn't except my homework from the 3rd grade for rent.

Today was a rough day. Weird ass meeting where a long list of don'ts was given. A long list. Almost a full hour. I don't know, on some things, I could understand but on others? Its just power tripping. I had a private meeting with my boss, and even she admitted that work was getting done. People were working. Yet, with all these new 'rules' you would think it wasn't. And that is both insulting and annoying.

She also led me to believe that someone that was following me on twitter is her friend or something. She "caught me tweeting". Wtf? Seriously? *note: ONE tweet* You have no idea what is intailed if you think that is going to cause actual problems. But whatever. There were also some personal...attacks?...at me yet again. Its really starting to piss me off. Especially since I am pretty sure where some of this is coming for and I have no recourse to fight against someone who has wrapped a dr around their finger. I am so tired of dealing with all the bullshit.

Granted, the meeting went a lot better then I expected..but I also think its because with them, I always expect the worst. How is that a way to work?

After all that all day, I went and helped some friends move stuff in their house in preperation for the new baby. Its an illness, I love helping people. Its a nice feeling to know that you could help make someone's life a little easier for a bit.
Add to that, I can't expect people to help me if I never help them right? I may be a hypocrite on some things, but try not to on that.

I was going to hang out with a friend tonight and 'discuss' the day's events, but she got busy. Which turned out to be ok, because that let me go to the gym. Where my legs that were already sore from softball yesterday and the going up and down the stairs at my friends' were not overly amused by the idea. I needed to go though and it helped clear my head a bit.

Over all Caroline has some more questions. Yeah more questions, she never has those. She things it will all be ok. She knows some things would be ok if she could just keep her mind quiet. lol Sleep will refresh though, and tomorrow is another day.
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The windows finally drawn
The darkness finally settled
The cushions arainged artfully
The stage is set
The greatest, most unpredictable show
Is a bout to begin
As soon as the mind follows
The body