That I'm a bit late to the party

So, while I was sitting at a pizza place last night waiting on food for me and the boy, I saw the Lawrence.com paper. Since the boy was busy with his GB, I grabbed it. Totally oblivious to the fact that this month was National Poetry Month!! wtf? lol I know people must have seen that and no one told me? lol Eh, my own fault. Anyway, I feel the need to catch up. There is only one other thing going on in town for it and that is tomorrow. I have marked the time, I got the place (just don't know where the place is). ...There is also a time frame on the 30th where you are supposed to share your favorite poem with people. I am TOTALLY excited about that. lol Not that I wouldn't share my favorite with you at any time. My poor friend that ended up joining me after I saw that article had to listen to at least four poems and how I related them to my life. :)

I feel like since I wasn't posting every day this month I totally slacked unwittingly and should make up for it somehow. Not sure on the how.

Maybe writing about why or what not and I think I may also post some extra poems. I know mine aren't the best, but they're mine. Some of them I am more proud of then others. I get so nervous sharing them sometimes, because some of them do have my heart on my sleeve, but eh, that is the point right? That and I have had some good encouragement the past year, and I can't just dis that.

I write poetry lots of times just for myself. It is an outlet. I have always, well, probably been on the verge of, lets say 'sadness'. So reading back, I know I have some dark poetry...some no one will ever read. The poetry for me captures a memory or feeling of the time. Sometimes I write to create a feeling that was lost or missed or never happened. lol I've been writing poetry, jeez, since I was in like Jr High. (You can imagine the quality of those.) The great thing is though, I read one and 'boom' I can see what I was feeling and thinking. I guess I should thank my younger self for documenting my life in a way that I can relate.

I love trying to create poems that have nothing to do with me at all. Try to imagine. They are the hardest to do, and probably the most awkward to read, but I like to throw them in there. (Besides, keeps people on their toes never knowing if I am writing about me or not. lol)

I used to have such a strong muse. Seriously, it would wake me up in the middle of the night and I would have to write. I've taken some turns in my life that I think quieted the muse..sometimes for a year or so. Yet, it always comes back. Sometimes stronger than others. I often want to thank people that make the muse appear back in my life..but not sure how I would do that. lol

Ah well, there it is. My National Poetry Month blog. Would love to hear what some of yours are. I love the 'non-mainstream' writers, and they are often hard to find. Not that mainstream or old poetry isn't awesome. There are so many types to choose from and enjoy, I don't really care what you send my way.

Ok, so I'm going to post a bunch. I don't actually expect you to read them all. lol You have a special place in my heart if you do though. lol

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At least ten times a day
I find something to say
To you
At least ten times a day
I find a reason to stay
With you
At least ten times a day
My memory will stray
Towards you
Its the rest of the day
With the proof of all that may
Not be
Its the rest of the day
Where sanity likes to prey
On me
Its the rest of the day
Where I understand the roll I play
In life

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(1/5/9)
How much pain are you willing to bare
Before you give yourself the space you need
A raw heart can only take so much
Before it stops feeling everything
How long can you let your emotions be ruled
By someone else's actions
Losing yourself to someone is fine
If they care about your free fall
How are you going to end this cycle
That only ends up with you unhappy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(2/6/09)
How odd it is
That you inspire me
Nature generally holds that roll
Or some contrived drama or longing
General company makes my pen spill
Feelings yet unaware and theories to be explored
How odd it is
That you inspire me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(11/92)
The ageing ambers of grain
Blow slowly in the wind
Forever will they move
Never fully in control of their life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
('90)
Brown,
Dirt,
Barn,
Red,
Chicken,
White,
Grass,
Uncut
(OK, this was written because of some dumb ass format we had to use for class...but I really ended up liking it!! Yes, I am a dork, move ON!)
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(7/93) Forget Me Not (and I used to title my poems too...)

Forget me not on the road that you travel
Forget me not on the road that you take
Forget me not when your life is troubled
Forget me not when your life is great
Forget me not, and take my hand
Forget me not, I understand
Forget me not for this friendship is true
Forget me not...
And I will not forget you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(4/95) Time Ticks On

Time ticks on
No one seems to care
Everyone's worried about something,
Working all day
Sleeping all night
All spare time filled with TV and movies
Time ticks on
We rush from place to place
Only seeing the scenery if it gets in the way
Time ticks on
We cry life is too short,
That we never had time,
As if others had more of it.
Time ticks on.
Mocked are those who take their time
Those who walk outside
Time ticks on.
Days have always been 24 hours.

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(1/96) The Tree

I watch as the wind blows cruelly
Through the barren trees
And it looks like my soul as you
Speak to me so heartlessly
After I've already been weakened
The situation chills me to the bone
But like the tree I continue to stand
Absorb the cold and live
Perhaps it will be a long time before
The wind stops tearing so at the branches
And perhaps it will come back again
But the tree will continue to stand
And to grow
And one day the wind will not seem so strong
And it will not tear at the tree so cruelly
By the tree's strength
The wind will weaken
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(2/10/0)
I'll never be the one
That you think of in the middle of the night
I'll never be the one
That takes away the pain by holding you tight
I'll never be the one
To subtly hold your hand
I'll never be the one
To rub your back as I tell you I understand