That I'm tired of settling.

Caroline's been thinking that she is tired of settling, and she does it way too often. She doesn't need to either. Yet time and again, she finds herself settling. She's not entirely sure why. Maybe she thinks that what she's given is what she deserves...but ya know, she really is much more than that, and she knows it. She shouldn't have to prove it either.

She realized that most of her life she takes the answers that she is given and instead of going through some pain (possibly debilitating for a while) and dealing with it, she puts up with long, unending pain, and settles. WTF would she do that? She doesn't need to settle. In any area of her life.

Maybe it has to do with her not wanting to 'rock the boat' or make others unhappy or uncomfortable...but really, she needs to get over that. There are certain instances she realizes that she needs to just not worry about the other person(s) or what 'might' happen. She's thinking how can she ever accomplish anything or be true to herself if she just accepts what people give her?

Like scraps, she takes what is left in many situations. She doesn't like scraps..and she hates coming in second. As they said to her long ago, being second means you are just the first loser. (The word 'scraps' actually seems to piss her off...lol)

Caroline isn't sure what this all means. Acknowledging is half the battle though right? Maybe if she makes it her motra not to settle, and says it every day, she'll stop. ...Because she's not really happy with the last thing she settled with.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back
They couldn't see the changes
As they were happening
Why would they,
They didn't expect any
Everything as it always was...
But change happens in the most
Unexpected ways sometimes
A simple look or word or deed
Can start a ripple effect
That can change everything
Feelings, relationships, life in general
And it can't be stopped
Only realized when
It is too late to do anything about it