Its all about the Benjamens

So, that may be the only time I ever say/write that phrase. EVER. lol (I'm just not 'cool' enough to say it.) However, it sort of sums up what I have been thinking about.

There are very few things that can make me feel as crummy and worthless as money. It is absolutely amazing. I could be out with friends or sitting at home with a book, and something with money pops up and poof, its all gone. Its not so much just the worry, I think everyone worries. Its the actual feeling of shame or failure that comes with it. "Oh I could have done better here, or done this there, or not done that." It will drive me absolutely insane.

I don't think any of my friends are out there silently judging me on my money. Ok, I think one is. But otherwise, no. You don't know what I make or what I spend it on or what I owe. I know that is true...but that's not how it feels.

Someone once said money isn't everything. I think they had good intentions in saying that, but at the heart of it they are wrong. Sadly.

We work, for money. We need money for bills. We pay the bills so we have a place to live. We work for money so we can spend time with family or friends. We need money to be with others. Its a weird crazy cycle of the world. We work so we can have money so we don't have to work. lol Its not everything, but it does inch into every part of our lives.

I'm not sure exactly where this post is going. lol I'm not whining...or trying to whine. I'm just saying, I have more mood swings from money issues than just about anything else. I hate that it has control over me. I hate that when I ignore it, it just bites me in the ass harder. lol Ugh, its all about the Benjamens.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deep Breaths

Deep breaths
Deep breaths
Can't you feel them
In your lungs
Deep breaths
Deep breaths
Get a grip
You're almost done
Deep breaths
Deep breaths
When did your throat
Become so small
Deep breaths
Deep breaths
Even though I'm gasping
I can't feel them at all