When I was very young, my family moved around a lot. If I am not mistaken, by the time I was 3, we had moved 6 times. Before the move to Joplin, my dad (via my mom) said no more for a while. (They moved a lot more than that before I was born.) So since they were building a store in Joplin, my dad was given it to run. We stayed in Joplin, in the same house, for almost all of my childhood. I think the fact that I had this home. This stability aided in me wanting to hold on to things. (It doesn't seem to plague my siblings, I believe its because they were just used to moving and giving things up all the time.)
My 6th grade year, my dad took a promotion and we moved to Tulsa, OK. I was not a happy person about this. We moved mid school year too. Hate is not too strong. I was miserable. My friends were far away. It wasn't too far from Joplin, but it was far enough. On top of that, my brother and oldest sister were still back in Joplin. For the first time in my life they weren't around me.
We moved back that summer. I was grateful...but then I had this new group of friends in Tulsa that I would miss. There was no internet social media to help us stay in touch, so all I have left of them all is memories.
After my freshman year of high school we moved to KS. I was a teenager and I was as moody as you can imagine over this. No way my friends would ever come up to visit me in my new place. And now my other sister wasn't going to be around as well. Just me and my parents. I lost touch with people I had known my whole life those next three years. People I had known since I was 4. Gone. Connections lost.
After graduating hs, I moved for college. I am still in the same town. People talk about how they find it annoying that old friends from hs find them on Facebook or whatever, but for me, my school was small. I knew everyone, and there was only one or two people I honestly couldn't stand. I am happy to have that connection there. I don't like to lose people.
Thing is, I have a really good memory for people (maybe not names). There are people I went to camp with in 4th grade that I still think about. The summer I was a camp counselor I made some of the best friends I may ever have. Due to distance and ease of contact, I don't know where any of them are now. Its partly my fault too. I can write people letters every other day, but I could never quite mail them. You would think it would be easier with email, but its not. I used to be a good pen pal, but somewhere along the line I lost it.
The place I live now is a college town. So since my first year here, I have had friends moving away. Every few years its like the town purges itself of all my close friends or people that I really enjoy being around. I hate that most of all. In my "old age" its killer. I want my friends around....and they are in another city, state, country. I'm usually very happy for them though, they leave for better jobs or a new family or furthering their school...but they are gone. And if I don't hang on to the small snippets I have of them, they will be just another person that touched my life, and has no idea I think about them every now and then.
About four years ago, it was really hard for me. EVERYONE moved. My close friends and co-workers all moved (and I mean like all, there was only 3 or 4 left out of 12!) Good friends I had made in college moved. A high school friend that had still been living here moved. A friend I had just reconnected with was moving to another state far way. I had maybe one or two friends that I was in weekly contact with left in town. I was miserable. I might as well have moved myself.
This year is shaping up that way, and I don't know how to deal with it. I have two friend that will be gone summerish (one of them already gone, but coming back every few weeks). I just found out that another group of friends will be moving first of January. Ok, so its not all my friends this time. Even if I do hear some of them talking about leaving town. But chunks of my life are moving away. It frightens me, because I don't want to lose touch with these people.
One of my friends (one that is now moved away) was talking to me years ago, how one of her friends was moving out of town and she didn't know what to do. If she spent a lot of time with her friend now, she would have all these memories, but it would be that much harder when she was gone. If she started avoiding her now, it would be easier when she was really gone. When she told me this I thought it was crazy. Why wouldn't you want to spend time with them? But then I found all my friends moving, and I understood. So I go through this each time I have some awareness that people are moving. Its a delicate line of spending good quality time with them....but not a quantity of time. It makes it hard. Idk.
I am not good with saying good bye to people. I hate it. Especially when they move far way, because who knows when/if I'll ever see them again, and that fear sucks most of all.
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