The easy road

People take the easy road. I can't blame them. Who wouldn't want the easy road. Its easy.

Sometimes though, you gotta face that the easy road is not always the right one.

My job is a prime example. I know I should have quit years ago. Each time though, just as I was at the point, they did something nice. Routine set in. It wasn't so bad anymore. Why would I want to leave? Patterns of misery mean nothing when, "oh look, things are OK now so why should I work at changing anything?" For years people who knew me wanted me to quit. I would say yeah, I will, but then time would pass. Sure things were shitty. Sure I was still some what miserable, but hey, this was here. This was working. Who knows what is beyond what I have now! I could be worse!

This year, the shit has hit the proverbial fan numerous times. Almost 2 1/2 months ago was the last straw. Insanity that I didn't deserve nor anyone should expect at a work place occurred. This place, as much as I support it because, well, I DO still work there, no longer has the loyalty it once did. I am done. In my heart I am somewhere, anywhere, else. I didn't put in my notice right away because I wanted an exit plan first. I needed something known first. I needed a support system. I am still there. I want out, but the easy way right now is to complain about how much I need to get out, and stay. This is neither the right or the best thing for me, it is simply the easy thing.

I see this with people everywhere. With jobs, relationships, school, family. We know really what is best. We know its gonna suck to change directions, to start over if need be, but yet, hey, I'm already on this road, why change? Things can get better. There is always that valley between the mountains that make it look so much easier...until we start up the next impossible incline.

That's why we take the easy road. We need people to get the hell of the easy road sometimes. I know I do. I have told friends to remind me if I become complacent about work. Why do I not want to stay there. I gave myself a deadline. Yeah, I have told myself there is an option of 'well, if things really do get better' then I can stay. I can only see one or two ways of that happening. I have that out because, well, its so much easier then making myself better and happy. Doing something that gives the biggest chance at happiness and bettering yourself would take effort.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Empty?

Words they swirl
Thoughts dance in and out
Ideas haunt and leave
No force of will
Making them stay
Getting them down
Such a trick
In such a state of mind
Of nothing to hold
Emotions that stick
Remain so quiet
Not wanting to be revealed