Its like being bipolar at times. Because I want to be independent. Well..actually more to the point I have to be independent. However, I also want to be able to be dependent on someone, but not be wholly dependent on someone. Its a line I feel we all walk. I know I walk it a lot, mainly because I don't really have that one person to be dependent on. I have had to learn to be dependent on me, otherwise, good Lord, I don't know what my life would be like.
This doesn't mean I like the fact that I am the one that does everything around the house, from cleaning to fixing. That I have to be able to fix the machine when it breaks or mow the lawn. That I have to know how to change a tire, even if I can't really do it. I do like the fact that I can be my own person. That I know where my money is going and when and why...even if its not always the best for me. lol That I can choose where to go and when (generally, I do have that child that needs me).
Yet, it would be nice to share these things with someone. Its not always bad to have that one person that has your back. That person you can call on to help no matter what. My independence isn't due to my not wanting the help, its because I don't have it that I can do it all on my own. I sort of hate that. lol There is no real answer. Just back and forth. As we all are in life. Joy for that.
Oh, and don't forget, UMB sucks. Pass it on. (Yeah, still annoyed.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What a world
The world had never really been
A place for constant rest
Situations beyond our understanding
Spring up and pound us in the chest
There are those times of peace, yes
Where the days seem to drag on by
But too often we are given days
Where we throw our hands up to the sky
Everyone needs a friend to lean on
We all have our burdens to bare
We all have our fights to be happy
And find reasons in all that is there
Life offers a confusing lineup
Of people and places and things
The search for the meaning of strife
Won't ever heal the feelings
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I think you still walk this line when you're partnered off - at least if it's a healthy partnership. You have to be two independent people both capable of operating totally on your own. Sometimes you have to pick up the slack for the other person - which means 2x the amount of "stuff" do.
ReplyDeleteIt is nice though having someone there when shit hits the fan. Knowing that 90% of the time when the washing machine breaks and your kitchen floods - you won't be facing it alone. Even if you're doing the leg work - you're not actually alone.
It's a fine line - between dependence and support between maintaing your individuality and becoming someone's other half. Every "status" has it's perks and draw backs.